Lilachamster's story

Most people probably know a lot about me already, but my story starts in my childhood, surrounded by passive smoking. From as early as I can remember the smell and the feel of the smoke in my lungs and throat made me feel ill, I would be barely able to breathe and coughing all the time from it. I had one chest infection after another, and did tell my mother that her smoke made me ill with my chest. My mother did not take any notice of this and continued to expose me to her smoking, she would not even smoke outside for my sake. I learned from this lack of concern for my health and comfort that she was a totally selfish woman, I still believe this even though she has quit, because it's all too late and her quitting now cannot give me back the happy childhood I should have had.

This is why I am all for smoking bans, especially I am keen on geting it banned around children in cars and homes as this is a daily thing, often several times a day and therefore a greater danger to them than occasional exposure in public places.

I am very smoke-sensitive even now and do my utmost to avoid it, I am all for the ban, but wish they had done more to protect children before protecting adults who at least have some choices about where to go.

Before the ban I simply always had to refuse to go into smoking allowed indoor places, and I survived it, even if some people may have thought me odd or unsociable not going to pubs. It's nice now the tables have turned in my favour, about time too, it's amazing really how people like me put up with the situation for years and yet the smokers moan as soon as they get the first taste of their own medicine and have some limits put upon their behaviour.

Still although life is better for me now, and I am much less limited in where I can go, I can never forget about the suffering children of smoking parents, because I know exactly what they are going through. I can never forget because my childhood was so painful with my feelings totally disregarded by the adults around me. Indifference to my suffering from the smoke was something I found more cruel than getting a smack if I was naughty (because at least I might have done something to get smacked for, and it did not happen often, while I did nothing to deserve to be forced to breathe that poison all the time)

From the "Please Read!" thread in this section :

Feel free to start a thread about yourself, and if you'd like admin or a moderator to interview you on your thread, this can be done on request.


Lilachamster, would you like me to ask you some questions?

If you like, ask away

Some would say that you are on a personal crusade. With that in mind,


From dictionary.com :

Crusade : any vigorous, aggressive movement for the defense or advancement of an idea, cause, etc.


How should a crusade be carried out, in your opinion?

Also how should a crusade not be carried out?

It should be done non-violently, I have made mistakes in the past getting into fights with smokers, I don't do that any more, although there are times when I do need to be assertive.

I am in favour of lobbying for changes in the law along with massive public education, especially aimed at parents who smoke and expose their children to it.

Sometimes a crusade can turn into an obsession due to personal bitterness, and that can lead to not only alienation by others, but also a sense of reality and a sense of justice which is at odds with that of most other people.

How would you advise others who are on the same crusade as you on avoiding those things?

I don't feel very qualified to advise, I don't think my sense of reality and justice is wrong when I feel very upset and angry and helpless to see children trapped in smoke-filled cars.

My sense of reality is also not wrong about smoke making me feel extremely ill, and causing me a cough for about 4 or 5 days. I know what it does to me and how it has always affected me. Just because not everyone is affected this way does not make it tolerable for everyone.

I will not have my reality continually denied just because it is an inconvenient truth for smokers to accept that some people, actually many people, including many kids with smoking parents, are highly sensitive to cigarette smoke. For those kids life is a daily misery, feeling ill all the time, and social services and drs do nothing! The law needs to protect those children and allow them to be taken to safe homes.

What would you think if a child was actually asking to be taken from smoking parents, to a no smoking home, should social services intervene then if the kid is requesting it?

But if you had to give advice, what would it be?

How would you advise someone who is on the same crusade as you not to alienate themselves from other people?

And how would you advise them to keep a realistic sense of what is fair for everyone?

From your own experience, how would you advise them to avoid those mistakes?